Surly Mother am I

I have a black and blue mark right where the top of my thigh ends and my knee begins.

Pretty sure it’s a bite mark.

I had fun trying to entertain my kid at a neighbor’s 1st birthday party today in the 90 degree heat. Turns out, we were the only kid attending under 8 years old (besides the b-day boy), and it was a beer guzzling adult’s party. I didn’t bring enough squeaky toys. I was feeling a bit awkward. I turned to a very sweet girl named E who was talking about how much she’ll miss teaching preschool now that summer vacation has started, and I said “You’re nuts.”

I meant it.

 

First Crawl today

I was happy to eat my own words (earlier I blogged that he’d walk before crawling).
The boy is crawling just a little bit! He takes small, hesitant moves forward on hands and knees, and then plops down to his belly to drag himself as usual. It is so adorable.

Oh, and the cruising-walking has gotten FASTER, too! It is time, officially, to start screwing in those child locks to every cabinet door. Ugh. I keep telling myself, “I’ll get to it tomorrow.”

 

Excellent fun

I fear that June gloom has hit many parts of the US this week, from what I am reading on your blogs. Southern CA is no exception.

No complaints here, though. I have been having such a great time watching Little J learn how to pull himself up to standing. I even put out a facebook message asking my friends (help!!) how to deal with daytime naps when your kid is grabbing the rail and screaming through the walls. It is somewhat comical because I waffle between an attitude of ‘he needs to suck it up and soothe himself to sleep’ and ‘OhMyGod I am such a cruel mommy, hold me back while I run in to rescue him from such torture’. This applies to many things. Sometimes he puts something disgusting in his mouth and I swiftly remove it. Other times, I watch and smirk. Mmmmm, grass.

The rubber playground at the mall is proving to be a really awesome thing.

Little J has been to visit it twice. Sure, it offers a host of icky kid germs, and who knows if anyone ever cleans it. But I’ve noticed that seeing other children really excites him. He now has a new courage to try to walk and explore, which I love. He’s practically the youngest kid there, but this won’t be the case for long. I like seeing the other mothers, too. Many of them are in ponytails and nappy sweatpants, just like mine, and it makes me feel like less of an eyesore in society. Oooh, did I just write that? [Slap on the wrist] I really DO have self-esteem, I swear!

 

Since he insists on climbing on me…

Today we are going to the germ-infested rubber playground at the mall.

I plan on taking pictures.

In our home, Little J is absolutely gaga over the exercise bike, and the legs of his highchair, grasping them with both hands and pulling up and up, trying to become higher than his little body can reach.
He also loves to climb on me. As I mentioned before, the incessant whining that comes out of him when he is forced to lay on his belly is driving me batty. He just has no interest in crawling YET, but loves to pull himself up to standing. There are few places in our house where he can do so, and I feel guilty letting him climb on adult exercise equipment.

I am thankful to Parentdish for this blog post. I feel a little less alone in my weariness.

 

My nine month old child

Things I have learned since I last blogged:

1) Whole wheat spaghetti, although delicious, makes a huge mess when you give it to a baby. I’m thinking elbow macaroni might be better.

2) I am crazy enough to pay $17 for a sippy cup, just to see if the cool features are as brilliant as I imagine they are.

3) Drive-thru fast food windows were invented for folks like me, who forget my water bottle and get thirsty-as-heck every afternoon that I am out and about with baby. “Large iced tea, please! I’m dying here.” Avoiding french fries is a challenge for parents because they are so easy to eat while driving.

4) I seem to have one of those babies who shows little sign of wanting to crawl. Ever.

I want to put this out there in the blogosphere in case he surprises me. Right now Little J is a ‘cruiser’, meaning he holds on to something/someone and takes small steps to get where he wants to go. When he’s not standing he’s pissed off.

See? Look how happy. Unfortunately, I do not have pictures of him throwing a fit because, oh, for example, I made him sit on his bootie while I made myself a sandwich. Soon I’ll start taking pictures and video of his tantrums. I want to remember them twenty years from now.

5) According to WordPress, my most visited post on this blog is the one entitled “My three month old child”, where I lament that J is still waking up every 3 hours around the clock. Mwahahahaa, oh how those days are numbered. Yes siree, I learned to walk away from the nursery door and teach that kid to sleep on a schedule. Some days are better than others, but from the hours of 8:30pm to 6:00am I have my life back. For anyone reading this who is a mom-to-be, I encourage you weather the storm as best you can and don’t compare your baby to others. Once you’re ready, Dr. Weissbluth’s book is there to help.

 

Oh, I’d love to bring him, next time {winkwink}!

This morning I went to the dentist (yet again!) to pick up my new night guard. Apparently I grind my teeth. So that’s what happened to all four of my canines which, no longer sharp, seem to have found their way to a smooth edge like all my other teeth!
When I sit down in the dentist chair, the hygenist/assistant says “You should bring your baby next time! We’d love to see him.”
I looked at her for a moment.

“Really? I couldn’t bring him in here –”

“Sure you could! Some people sit their kids in the corner near them, or even sit them on their laps while they’re in the dentist chair. It’s true! Gets them used to the way we do things around here so they aren’t scared…”

“Ummm,” I said, “Maybe next year.” I could swear there is some liability issue with bringing your baby to the dentist, what with so many chemicals, needles, cords, and water everywhere!

Maybe I was in the minority, but before I had Little J I hated seeing people drag their kids to places which I deemed inappropriate. I (a twenty-something snob of a young adult) always thought that kids should be in school or on the playground most of the time. But people just LOVE babies so much, they seem to want MY baby around to tickle and cuddle, everywhere I go. Trader Joe’s seems to light up when my son squeals with delight and flirts with a female baby across the produce section. My hairdresser insists that there are stylists who can “pass him around” if he gets fussy while I’m having my hair done.
Am I the weird one?
Now, I live in LA, as you probably know. People bring their terriers and their chihuahuas in lil’ purses along for the ride, basically EVERYWHERE. But Little J is a person. He doesn’t fit in my purse, nor does he enjoy being placed in a corner or handed off to strangers while I do my adult duties. Right? I mean, I suppose I could ask him next time I’m about to go out. I’m sure he’d rather stay home with his toys. Especially if the place I am taking him is the handicapped-sized dressing room at Old Navy.

 

I shed a tear today. Maybe two.

I can’t believe it was a year ago that I painted the nursery!

Yes, I think it is time for a before and after photo post of Little J’s Sesame Street themed room. However, I just put him down for a nap, so I will have to bring out my camera later today for the “after” snapshots. And speaking of naps…

I am officially sleep training my son.

Just a few days shy of 9 months old, I sincerely feel that I waited long enough. We have a nice schedule going with two naps a day and a bedtime of 8:30pm. I conferred with hubby, and we agree that now is the time to break him of the need to be rocked into a deep sleep. As much as he is my precious child, loved and treasured, he weighs TWENTY pounds. Getting him down is getting to be a chore. Above all, I fear that the habit of needing to be rocked and sung to will stretch well into his kindergarten years! Haha.
Well, perhaps not that long, but here is my thought: Little J is not quite crawling, trying desperately to pull himself up to sitting, and from sitting to standing. He is determined to gain his strength and become more than just an “expert roller”! What will I do if he still doesn’t go down easy in his crib and he is standing up, grabbing the rail, SCREAMING at me? So yes, now is the time. I let him cry.

It is as painful as they all say it is.

I called hubby at work this morning, blubbering, “I don’t know if I can do this! It’s so hard!! He won’t stop crying!” But eventually, the crying subsided. So, I commit to have firm resolve in this training TODAY and from here on. I put this out there on the blogosphere because it is most certainly an issue. I have read multiple books, blog posts, articles and opinions on the subject. This is where I have decided to go. Sleep training at 9 months old. Courage be with me.

 

Sexy like Audrey Tatou

http://www.chaneln5.com/en-us/#/behind-the-scenes/on-the-set
Check out these production stills and then watch the Chanel No 5 movie.
I love the idea that it’s someone’s job to take artistic shots of people making a movie. Keep a little of the camera in the corner of the frame…Actress getting feedback from the director. Oooh la, la. Remind me to book a flight for one to Gay Paris!

 

Yeah, but look at my great relationship!

I have been putting much thought lately into what qualities make me a good mother. Also, what qualities made/still make my mom a good mother, what qualities make my working mom friends good mothers, and what qualities make Angelina (Jolie) and Jennifer (Garner) good mothers?

Some moms do it all themselves. Some moms have daycare, nannies, sibling or grandparent help. I personally have a young friend with a flexible schedule who babysits for 4 to 5 hours, once a week. This is all the control I feel comfortable reliquishing these days. More than that, I feel this odd, overarching pressure to not pass my kid off to anyone else because I have accepted the role of SAHM with pride and conviction. This is my 24 hour a day job, and it is pretty damn hard!
But who cares, really? Besides me?

I came upon this blog by Rachel Campos-Duffy called “Hired Help” where she discusses the cultural norm of wealthy moms in Dubai taking their nannies literally everywhere, who never get dirty because someone else is cleaning up spills, changing poop pants, etc. The reason, she postulates, is because hired help is cheap in Dubai. Her article interested me because it questions just how cultural our need to be involved in all the hard work and mess really is here in the United States. The little sociology student in me is all atwitter!!
How do you feel about hiring a cheap-as-dirt nanny, or even a very expensive one? We (Americans) love to bag on Angelina and Jennifer for having the means to hire people to cook/clean/carry. Is this judgement or jealousy? Does time spent doing the dirty work attribute to the closeness with our children? And if so, is a “great relationship” with our babies, or even our husbands and wives, priceless in this life?
As I look at my bare, jagged fingernails, and the sweet potato stuck to the side of my dining table, I wonder if I’m really a queen in my own world, or just a woman who is counting down the years until I walk my kids to the schoolbus and then clock in at the office.
Perhaps I’ll never work in an office again. This kid is so damn cute, even cutting yet another set of teeth and fussy, I love my days more than ever!

 

Watching our Weight

Here is the latest snapshot from my LG Rumor camera phone:

I love the brilliance that comes from a quick, no-zoom, action shot captured at Trader Joes. I couldn’t help myself. Little Guy is so reach-y all the time, I knew he’d simply fall out of the cart if I didn’t strap him in. And WHY, please, are the safety belts in certain grocery carts so damn short!?! As you can see, it’s up around his lil’ armpits. I exclaimed, “Hold your breath, buddy!!” while onlookers grinned at us. Oooh, he looked like such a fatty hooked in with that 12 inch red strap!

I am pleased to report that all the baby weight is off. Now the challenge is to eat more healthfully so as to, ya know, maintain. Love that word in reference to body size.
So I discovered this cute little sparkly (yes, you read that right) chocolate bar yesterday called a Fling bar. Check out the shmancy pink website. Only 170 calories, and promoted as being oh-so-choice if you’re young, and you like boys and evenings out at mardi gras. I picked one up at the CVS, marveled at my impulse purchase, and wolfed it down. Not half bad. I guess I’ll have to do a few extra power walks around the block with the stroller if I want to keep up this habit.