This is what it looks like moments before going to sleep at 10:00pm and sleeping straight until 5:30am. Glorious, glorious sleep! Mouth open, total submission of muscles, and sweet gentle breathing on my shoulder. How beautiful!
But this has only happened once.
My nearly 15-week-old baby is just not a miracle sleeper. He squirms in his crib, scratching his eyes. I nurse him every 3 or 4 hours, around the clock. I’m still holding out for this sleeping through the night thing that other mothers seem to be enjoying. Patience is indeed a virtue, so I’m giving it another month before I start to try new methods, but needless to say, I am running on fumes. Not to mention run-on sentences!! About once a week I lose it and need to just cry my eyes out to release all the tension. On these evenings, my husband knows to take the baby, let me close the bedroom door and crash. And yes, I’m fairly good and getting a nap in here or there while baby is napping during the day. And boy, can he NAP during the day!
I know what you’re probably thinking. This means I have to keep him more awake in daylight hours. Gosh, this makes so much sense in theory, right? But, if anything, my ability to read my baby has gotten keen, and I know when he’s tired and needs to sleep. He gets that cranky sound in his voice, and he deliberately pushes against me, trying to be free of my grasp. I also know when he is awake and wants to play. I am, basically, one of those “child-led” mothers. And this makes me sort of want to spit nails. I get a bit profane at times — if you know me, you’re aware that I drop the F-bombs often in regular speech anyway. I do not f&*king understand exactly how to put the baby on a schedule without making him cry. Cry a lot. And isn’t the whole idea not to allow him to get overtired in the first place? I guess some of these experts seem to think that 5 to 7 days of “training” your baby is worth the months of awesomeness that follow when your kid has some routine in his life.
I love routine. I can’t go to bed without brushing my teeth. The sound of cold water filling my coffee pot in the morning is the most wonderful sound to my ears and I crave it daily. Every night, Little J goes down to sleep between 10:00pm and 10:30pm, almost without fail since he was seven weeks old. He just doesn’t stay asleep is all.
On a positive note, he bring so much joy to my face when he’s goo-gooing, and reaching out with his little hands. Nothing could be more fantastic than having a healthy little person in my life. He always greets me with a smile. There are no words to describe the love that is developing. I can’t believe I have a son.
He’s already just the coolest kid I know, and I thank him daily for being mine.
I’m just…you know…tired.
November 25, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I sympathize, believe me I know where you are coming from!
I am lucky though because I was child-led (or so I thought) but as soon as I started writing down where he was leading me I realized that he was actually on his own schedule (like clockwork!) so it happened naturally for us.
Also, sleep begets sleep, so good napping during the day is not the root of the problem (at least that’s what I’ve heard).
The squirming etc sounds a bit like what Jasper does.. do you think maybe it’s physical (like gas or reflux) causing him to squirm or wake up?
November 25, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Um, would you mind if I munched on those sweet chubby cheeks? They are looking quite delicious! I wish I could help with the sleeping at night thing…even just take a shift for you (except I’m not so down with the nursing other babies thing…so, yeah, might not work out…it’s totally the thought that counts, right?)
We’re still working on our daytime routine over here and I am in complete agreement about a routine being a VERY necessary thing in my life. So, in short, I feel your pain, just at a different time of day/night.
December 22, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Adorable baby!
So, being a fellow coffee lover myself… I miss the sweet smell and taste of that first cup in the morning. You may wonder why I would deprive myself of such a necessity, especially when sleep deprived? Well, caffiene can stay in your little guys system for 96 hours! Making it very frustrating to sleep when they “can’t”.
Moral is, it will be rough… But your baby will sleep so much better.
Good luck!
May 28, 2009 at 10:24 pm
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