I’m not an AP parent

I was clicking around and I landed on the blog of a New York mother who writes that she’ll wash her breasts, nightly, and nurse her toddler to sleep.  Then later, she will be awoken, nightly, to change a wet diaper at midnight.  This is her routine, this self-proclaimed Attachment Parent.

When I read things like this, I think, “I need to stop reading blogs.”

The only reason I wash my breasts is because I’m taking a shower.  And this does not quite happen every day, friends.  Not that you’re surprised.  Spending 10 minutes under the hot, comforting water, letting my mind wander, I do this for me.  As if personal hygiene could be anything but personal.  It’s like when my (childless) girlfriend K and I meet for breakfast and she always looks polished and put together, wearing lipgloss and expensive shoes.  She shrugs and informs me, “I get dressed for me.”  And I know, in a way, she is on to something.

The decisions we make for ourselves and our families are very personal.  Perhaps I’m threatened by the idea of extending yourself so far as to share your bed – and so much more – with your baby after he or she has turned one year old.  I have read about AP and, after plaguing me with guilt, their website forces me to shrug my shoulders and say, “That’s not my way.”

Besides, my son tries to put his shoes in his mouth.  Often.  How could a person’s breasts be dirty by comparison?  I mean, really.

 

I found my keys!!

…at the bottom of a bag of bagel chips.

So, this means I wasn’t crazy to look inside the diaper pail a few weeks back.  Little J had indeed put them somewhere for safekeeping.

 

First “official” Halloween

Leo the Lion

Boo.

 This Halloween was a hit!  Little J really enjoyed wearing his costume, despite the 80-degree weather during the daytime.  We attended “Boo at the LA Zoo”.  Great times had all around.

 

 

tidbits

1. Matzoball soup + Nyquil + 9 hours sleep = magical cure for a cold (for me, not the baby!)

2. I seem to have lost my house keys. This is only mildly upsetting for some reason. I managed to scavenge an extra key to the side door, and am going in and out of it for now.

3. Little J has cut his first molar!! It is just so cute, I can’t get over it. This explains the massive drool springing from his mouth and leaving his collars damp.

4. Cookie Magazine has folded. I am not sad, per se. I only wonder what the folks at Conde Naste are going to send me instead, for the remainder of my subscription year.

5. This pancake batter bowl from Ikea serves well as a place to throw small toys that I find scattered about my living room floor every day. It’s always a mess around here, and for the time being, Little Guy thinks the bowl is his new toy.

 

Yellow Balloon

Yellow Balloon Hair Salon in Studio City offers a “1st haircut” Package which includes a balloon, poloroid and certificate.

Notice the ghetto stylist in the background picking her teeth.

My sweet, sweet boy. He loved his balloon. Now it is his newest word, “Booon”.
Yesterday a neighborly woman walking her sweet, sweet doggies commented on his handsome new look. It’s really nice to see him looking less girlish, and more clean cut. I probably won’t return to the same salon, though. Not really necessary, if you asked me. There’s candy and toys everywhere, which isn’t necessarily a good thing.

 

Babycenter, you’re an A-hole

Yeah, okay, I said it.

I have a 13-month old. Sometimes when the tantrums get really really bad, I turn to wordsearches online. Who doesn’t, right? Here’s what babycenter.com says about “tantrums”:

One of the best approaches to tantrums is to avoid them as much as possible. Pay attention to your baby’s cues and try to anticipate her desires. You can reduce her frustration even more by giving her a safe place to explore where you won’t constantly have to tell her no.

Well isn’t that just worth a coffeecup full of snot? Seriously, friends, I write this because I know I am “ahead” of some of you. You’re out there reading about what’s to come with your own precious babies. Right now you might be thinking, well when my kid cries, I do this or that. The situations change, over and over. He hits a new “stage” or “milestone”. Isn’t it adorable? And just when you think you’ve got all your bases covered, there’s a wrench thrown in the gears. You can do like me and cry to your husband. Whaaaa. That will only go so far. In the end, you have to say ’screw-you’ to the internet, and let them cry until they are done. Do not, by any means, hit them with a soccerball or give them a shot of Jack Daniels. It’s so weird that babycenter doesn’t mention this, so I thought I should.

I know, when I am on the playground, or chatting with you on the phone, I’ll say how wonderful my son is. He is just the best, and I don’t know how I ever lived without him. But IN ADDITION to this, clever ladies, there is the secret world of “OhmygodpleasefortheloveofgodSTOP” which is very real, and very common.

Because you deserve a bit of the truth. And your baby will still love you when he wakes up from crying it out. Mine can’t get enough of me. This I promise you.

 

Go ahead, ask me anything

Just got home from hosting a bachelorette party in San Francisco. This’ll be a quickie post. Lots to do. Unpack, get back in the swing of things, read, write, tend to the toddler.

It was a fun day and night. There were four of us drinking wine, kvetching and laughing. All of us were in committed relationships, but I was the only one who had gone through the peril of giving birth. They were mildly curious, and overall very kind listeners. Is your vagina irrevocably changed? Do we really want to know?

The funniest question I got was, “Did you poop on the delivery table?”
I responded, “Apparently, Yes. I’m told everyone does.”
She replies, “Oh yeah, that’s what I’ve heard.”

 

They DO grow up so fast!

I just wanted to post this photo because it makes me melt!

(Taken April 22, 2009)
This is the “Photo Booth” function of the Mac computer, and my Little Guy is looking at himself on my laptop screen! Precious-ness!!!!
I think a big reason I haven’t blogged in over a week is that I’ve been diving into my archive of digital photos of Little J. There are so many and I want to admire them all. Now 13 months old, he truly is my little boy, and not quite a baby any more. How much he has changed!

 

Early Riser

I can’t stop thinking about Daylight Savings on November 1.
Little J wakes up at about 6:30am every day. When he sleeps in until 7:00, I dance a little dance of joy.

So, what am I going to do when 6:30 suddenly becomes 5:30? Has anyone any thoughts or advice?? Should I start going to bed at 9:30pm the week before? Is there a way to get him to sleep in a wee bit more in the next 6 weeks? Please comment.

Thanks.

 

Haircut

BEFORE

BEFORE

AFTER
Just a little snip off the front where it hung in his eyes. I love playing kitchen beautician!