I have been putting much thought lately into what qualities make me a good mother. Also, what qualities made/still make my mom a good mother, what qualities make my working mom friends good mothers, and what qualities make Angelina (Jolie) and Jennifer (Garner) good mothers?

Some moms do it all themselves. Some moms have daycare, nannies, sibling or grandparent help. I personally have a young friend with a flexible schedule who babysits for 4 to 5 hours, once a week. This is all the control I feel comfortable reliquishing these days. More than that, I feel this odd, overarching pressure to not pass my kid off to anyone else because I have accepted the role of SAHM with pride and conviction. This is my 24 hour a day job, and it is pretty damn hard!
But who cares, really? Besides me?

I came upon this blog by Rachel Campos-Duffy called “Hired Help” where she discusses the cultural norm of wealthy moms in Dubai taking their nannies literally everywhere, who never get dirty because someone else is cleaning up spills, changing poop pants, etc. The reason, she postulates, is because hired help is cheap in Dubai. Her article interested me because it questions just how cultural our need to be involved in all the hard work and mess really is here in the United States. The little sociology student in me is all atwitter!!
How do you feel about hiring a cheap-as-dirt nanny, or even a very expensive one? We (Americans) love to bag on Angelina and Jennifer for having the means to hire people to cook/clean/carry. Is this judgement or jealousy? Does time spent doing the dirty work attribute to the closeness with our children? And if so, is a “great relationship” with our babies, or even our husbands and wives, priceless in this life?
As I look at my bare, jagged fingernails, and the sweet potato stuck to the side of my dining table, I wonder if I’m really a queen in my own world, or just a woman who is counting down the years until I walk my kids to the schoolbus and then clock in at the office.
Perhaps I’ll never work in an office again. This kid is so damn cute, even cutting yet another set of teeth and fussy, I love my days more than ever!

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